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Want a Black Eye with That Shake? McDonald’s is the New Fight Club

Back in April, a transgender woman was brutally attacked while trying to enter a ladies bathroom in Baltimore.  The 14- and 18-year old beat her so severely, the woman collapsed into convulsions; it was captured on tape while onlookers did…nothing. An altercation that spilled into a Cleveland parking lot became a mob scene when two people were run over by […]

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I Knew It…Cantaloupe Will Kill You

I hate cantaloupes–any kind of melon, really (that means you too, honeydew).  Their smell is repulsive and the taste is even worse and now I’m vindicated in my abhorrence of them.  Cantaloupes, in all their vile nastiness, are killing people–16 to be exact. OK, before I irresponsibly inspire widespread panic, let me clarify: It’s not […]

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Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Star Lookalike Found Dead (You Can’t Make This Stuff Up)

I know there’s a lot going on in the title but this is what headlines around the world have been screaming this week.  First things first, irascible, razor-tongued chef Gordon Ramsay has a twin.  Well, not exactly–Percy Foster is not a blood relation–he’s a lookalike.  And he’s a dwarf.  Oh yeah, and a porn star.  […]

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Shank’s Original Goes Retro with 79-Cent Sammies

Where can you get a giant, delicious sandwich for under a buck?  Nowhere, right?  Wrong.  To celebrate its 50th anniversary, each month Shank’s Original on the Philly waterfront will offer a different one of its signature sandwiches (hot or cold) for an unbelievable 79¢. This month’s sandwich is the famous roast pork on an Aversa roll–a hometown favorite […]

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Happening Now: Restaurant Week Arrives!

It’s hard to believe that it’s that time of year again, but it is.  Restaurant Week is here and happening in several cities in the area, so grab a fork and go out and support your local restaurants and chefs.  It’s a great way to patronize your favorite eatery or try a new one.  Below […]

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Rush Limbaugh and His Non-Oxycontin Flavored Tea

A few months ago, in the most overt display of capitalism and mental retardation ever, Oxycontin-popping, liberal-hating blowhard Rush Limbaugh decided to jump into the celebrities-hawking-crap fray with his own line of–wait for it–iced tea.  Yes, you read it correctly.  The label features a colonial-outfitted Limbaugh atop a horse warning, as the website states, “The […]

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Tasteless Vintner Makes a Buck off of 9/11 Tragedy

Our grandparents had the Hindenburg.  Our parents had the assassinations of JFK, RFK, and MLK.  Our generation had the tragic attacks of 9/11.  It seems each generation has had their own heart-wrenching “I-remember-exactly-where-I-was-when-that-happened” moment.  My mother could recount every detail of the day John F. Kennedy was killed–down to the clothing she was wearing.  My […]

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Northern Liberties is a ‘Food Desert’ No More

Who hasn’t walked past the hulking structure at the corner of 2nd and Girard (no doubt on their way to Paesano’s) and peered through the windows for a glimpse inside the empty, cavernous behemoth that once promised a Pathmark for the grocery store-deprived denizens of NoLibs? Developer Bart Blatstein, the visionary (or unscrupulous, seedy landlord […]

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Garces-to-Go: Iron Chef Offers Home Grilling Kits

Not everyone can cook like an Iron Chef. Or can they?  According to the all-seeing, all-knowing local event site uwishunu, Chicago native-turned-Philly superstar chef/restaurateur José Garces is offering home grilling kits at Garces Trading Company on Locust Street. Just in time for Labor Day, Mortadella Hot Dog Kits ($25) and Village Whiskey Burger Kits ($35) […]

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Lunch is on Me (and LevelUp): Get $10 to Spend on Anything!

Who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch?  See, I told you reading The Palate Princess would pay off someday. WHAT DO I GET? LevelUp is generously offering a free $10 credit to anyone who signs up for an account using the promo code ‘palateprincess’.  What’s LevelUp, you ask?  Remember, they’re the innovative company […]

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